Bonfire Leadership

Feel the Fire: Internal & External Motivation

Learning a new language is a prized intellectual skill. We are immediately impressed when we learn that someone is “fluent in several languages.” These multi-lingual people instantly become more interesting. There was a time when I had a decent command of French, but I didn’t nurture the skill. So now, the only French I can muster is asking how someone is doing and whether they’d like to come on a picnic with me. But I do speak one additional language besides English; I speak fluent Marine. Yes, Marines have their own language: skylarking (mischievous behavior); pogey bait (junk food); catwalk (sidewalk); ladder well (staircase); chow hall (cafeteria); ink sticks (pens); garden party (cleaning the grounds of the barracks); and go fasters (tennis shoes). These were all terms that I mastered after landing on Parris Island. There was another word, though, that was constantly in use–“motivation.” Sure, it’s a common enough word and I was familiar with it before the Marines. But during those endless weeks of bootcamp, “motivation” was a mantra, a command, a running chant, an explanation for everything that went right or wrong. (Not much went right, by the way.) The order of the day was always: “Get motivated! Be motivated! Stay motivated!” During basic training and into my active duty years, I grew to appreciate motivation as a chief component of leadership. Leaders get things done, but nothing happens without the inner drive. Simply put, motivation is about getting fired up and staying fired up.

What I’ve learned over the years is that there are two types of motivation: internal fire and external fire. Internal fire is self-motivation. It is the desire and inspiration that springs from inside. Internal motivation is critical because no matter how many people are cheering you on, you’ve still got to run the race. We’re always working to keep the internal fire going. When I was slogging through bootcamp, wondering if death would be an easier way out, I pushed through because I couldn’t stand the thought of being a quitter. When I broke my leg days before graduation and had to stay on Parris Island an extra six weeks, it took every bit of guts that I had to maintain any level of motivation. But it was that internal flame that gave me the conviction to say “I’m not leaving this damn island until I’m a Marine.

External motivation comes from the people around you who encourage your success and elevation. External fire is important because when the internal motivation is waning, outside forces can push you through. This means that we should work to cultivated relationships with people who are interested in seeing us win. But know that the external fire, no matter how bright it burns, can do nothing if there’s no internal light. As it was put to me recently: You have to give a damn. And the people around you have to give a damn. And it has to happen at roughly the same time.

I have a number of projects in full swing, and these days it seems that I’m constantly over-scheduled. “When do I get to do nothing?” I sometimes whine out loud as I scroll through my calendar of deadlines and commitments. We all have those times when the motivation tank is on “E.” Here’s how I get mine full again:

  1. Call one of my fellow creators/entrepreneurs. Iron sharpens iron, you know. And I have a roster of awesome people who know how to help me re-light the flame. In the Corps we’d ask: “Who motivates the motivator?” My friends, that’s who.
  2. Focus on how it’s going to feel when all the hard work is done. Few things are more satisfying that seeing check marks in all the little boxes on the list.
  3. Plan a reward for yourself, once the project is finished. Fantasize about said reward frequently and in detail. My rewards usually are centered around elaborate meals and sparkling wine. I’m thinking of seafood fettuccine and prosecco this very minute.

Mastering self-motivation is a critical skill that stands as a hallmark of good leadership. Make sure that your list of friends includes people who understand your vision and can motivate you toward realizing it. Once the internal and external fires are burning in tandem, you’ll get tasks done and, hopefully, have more time for wine, pasta, and skylarking.

Got To Be Real: Authenticity & Leadership

     I was born and raised in the South. And more specifically, in Louisiana. Louisiana is a culinary destination, offering cuisine that fires the soul–gumbo, red beans and rice, and fried catfish are some of the signature dishes. But where there is savory, there must also be sweet. The tea cake is what southern dreams are made of–rich, fragrant, and subtly sweet. Recently, I began researching recipes to make my own tea cake. I wanted to create that childhood experience and have it at my fingertips. There are thousands of recipes, but, sadly, most are not worth the paper they’re printed on. At the office one day, I told my colleague, Roxanne, of my quest for the perfect tea cake recipe. To my delight, she said that her mother had been making tea cakes for decades. Tentatively, I asked Roxanne if she could get the recipe . . . and she did. (I was hesitant to ask because southern women are not fond of handing over their recipes.) A few days later, there was a copy of the recipe on my chair. I picked up the paper, noting the handwritten ingredients and a one-line directive at the bottom that let me know this was the real deal: “Put slice of bread in container after baking to keep them soft.” Clearly, I was dealing with an expert. I rushed upstairs to thank Roxanne. She laughed and said, “I started typing it out, but then decided to just copy the original for you.” I responded by telling Roxanne that seeing her mother’s handwriting and the water stain in the corner meant everything. There was warmth, personality, and a peek into who the writer was. The handwritten recipe was unquestionably authentic.

     As leaders, authenticity is invaluable. It builds relationships. Authentic leaders understand themselves and are not afraid to show their true selves to others. This can be a difficult concept because as leaders, we don’t instinctively showcase our limitations. But to be authentic is to be honest.  And honesty is the bedrock of any relationship. People are not seeking perfection, they are seeking leaders who are genuine, trustworthy and supportive. We can be none of those things unless we are real. And realness requires opening a window into our who, what, where, when, how, and why. That is: who we are, what motivates us, where we want to take our team, when we want to get there, how we plan to do it and why we’ve chosen the mission.

Our willingness to reveal ourselves to the people we lead demonstrates our trust in them. In every organization, leaders are tasked with sharing information. People want to know and understand the source of information; that’s how we determine its reliability. When Roxanne told me that her mother had made tea cakes for decades, I began to trust the source. When Roxanne produced the recipe, with the uneven writing and the water stain, I was convinced. I understood the backstory and the flawed presentation was evidence of authenticity. Approaching leadership in that fashion will create success and others will soon be asking for your recipe.

~Britney A. Green, Founder of Bonfire Leadership